It was a typical Friday evening, and my teenage daughter sat slouched at the dinner table, eyes glued to her phone. When I asked about her day, I got the usual one-word answer: “Fine.” I knew there was more beneath the surface. It’s a familiar scene for many parents of teens, right? The shift from chatty childhood to withdrawn teenage years can be tough to navigate, especially when you want to support your teenager’s mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Teenagers face challenges we often can’t see—social media pressures, school stress, friendships that feel like they change daily, and figuring out their identity. All of this can weigh heavily on their mental health. As parents, it’s easy to feel like we’re losing touch, unsure of how to offer support in a way that doesn’t feel like we’re intruding.
But here’s the thing: one of the most impactful ways to support our teenagers is to create a set of family values. Having a shared foundation can make all the difference in how our teens feel supported, both mentally and emotionally. It gives them a framework to lean on, especially during times of self-doubt or uncertainty.
The Power of Family Values
Establishing strong family values gives your teen a sense of stability in an ever-changing world. It’s not about forcing beliefs on them—it’s about collectively deciding what your family stands for. Values like respect, kindness, or perseverance can act as a safety net, guiding them through tough decisions and emotional struggles.
But how do you actually create family values in a way that your teenager will buy into? Here’s how we approached it in our home, and you can too:
1. Pick a Date
It started with something as simple as setting aside time for a family conversation. We chose a Sunday afternoon, sat down in the living room, and made it clear that this wasn’t going to be another lecture. Instead, it was about each of us sharing what we value most as a family. No distractions, no phones—just open, honest conversation.
2. Write a Mission Statement
Together, we crafted a family mission statement. It was simple: “Our family values kindness, honesty, and growth.” It may not sound groundbreaking, but writing it together made it meaningful. It gave us something to anchor ourselves to when the inevitable teenage mood swings hit or when tough conversations needed to happen.
3. Create a List of Values
Next, we brainstormed a list of values that each of us cared about. My daughter surprised me by suggesting “open communication” as one of her top values. It was a lightbulb moment for me. She wanted to talk—she just needed the space and trust to do it on her terms. We listed other values like “keep trying” and “empathy,” things that mattered to all of us.
4. Select Your Top Three
From there, we narrowed down our list to the top three values that felt most important. For us, it ended up being kindness, growth, and communication. These became the pillars of how we interacted with each other, and they helped us frame how we approached everything from resolving conflicts to celebrating successes.
5. Write Out Your Vision
Finally, we talked about how we could bring these values to life every day. It wasn’t just about talking the talk—it was about walking the walk. For instance, since “open communication” was one of our top values, we agreed to have weekly check-ins where everyone could share how they were feeling. This wasn’t just for the tough moments, but also a way to celebrate the little wins.
The Result: Supporting Teenagers’ Mental Health
Well, I honestly feel like as a family we’ve become more resilient and connected. My daughter, who used to clam up about school pressures or friend drama, began opening up bit by bit. She started to see our home as a safe space where her thoughts and feelings were acknowledged and supported—because they truly mattered. And more than that, she felt like she was part of the process, not just a bystander.
Taking The First Step…
In conclusion, supporting teenagers with their mental health doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes, it’s as simple as sitting down together and agreeing on the values that will guide your family through the ups and downs. A growth mindset can help your teenager see challenges as opportunities for growth, while family values offer the stability they need to navigate their complex world.
Creating family values together not only supports their mental and emotional well-being but also builds a foundation for open communication. So… why not start today? Pick a date, have that conversation, and start building family values that can truly make a difference in your teen’s life.
The M.Y.T.E Programmes
If you have a teenager who struggles with anxiety, often feeling stuck in fight-or-flight mode and unable to calm their nerves, the M.Y.T.E for Teens Programme can help. Our programmes profound toolkit provides practical techniques to manage stress, build emotional resilience, and regain control in challenging moments. Go here to support your teen to find calm and confidence with the M.Y.T.E for Teens Programme, and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to get in touch.