School Anxiety Support for Kids: Practical Strategies That Help
The morning battle begins. Your child refuses to get out of bed. Tears, stomach aches, and pleading follow. It’s not a one-off… it’s becoming a pattern. Whether you’re a parent feeling helpless as your child refuses to step out the front door, or a teacher watching more empty seats in class, school anxiety support for kids is a very real struggle affecting children everywhere.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Thousands of children struggle with school anxiety for different reasons, such as social worries, academic pressure, sensory overload, or past negative experiences. As challenging as this can be, the good news is that there are things we can do to help kids manage these big feelings and support them in feeling more confident about attending school.
Understanding School Anxiety
School anxiety goes beyond simply not wanting to go to school. For many kids, it’s an intense emotional response driven by fear, worry, or even past trauma. Some children may fear failure, others might feel socially anxious, while some struggle with being separated from home. For teachers, it’s especially tough when a student who was once engaged starts missing school more regularly—it can be both frustrating and concerning.
The first step in supporting a child with school anxiety is recognising the signs, which could be:
- Frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches
- Sudden emotional outbursts before school
- Avoidance behaviours, such as hiding, procrastinating, or refusing to go
- Difficulty sleeping or becoming more clingy at home
- Increased sensitivity to anything school-related
Once we understand that this isn’t about defiance but rather a struggle with emotions, we can take practical steps to support children in overcoming their fears.
How to Support a Child with School Anxiety
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings (Without Reinforcing Avoidance)
Instead of dismissing a child’s anxiety or forcing them through it, acknowledge how they feel. Try saying, “I can see that school feels really overwhelming right now. I want to understand what’s going on so we can find a way to make it feel easier for you.” This builds trust and helps children feel heard.
2. Create a Predictable Routine
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. A predictable morning routine can help children feel more in control. Try:
- Preparing school bags the night before
- Using a visual schedule to outline the morning routine
- Having a calming pre-school ritual, like listening to a favourite song or doing a mindfulness practice
3. Break It Down into Small, Manageable Steps
For kids or teens who feel overwhelmed, breaking the school day into small steps can make it less daunting. Instead of saying, “You have to go to school,” try saying, “Let’s focus on getting dressed first, then we’ll have breakfast, then we’ll take it one step at a time.”
For teachers, allowing gradual reintegration—such as half days, buddy systems, or quiet spaces—can ease students back into the school environment.
4. Teach Kids to Manage Their Thoughts and Emotions
School anxiety often stems from fearful thoughts like: “What if I fail my test?” or “What if no one talks to me?” Teaching kids how to manage these thoughts can empower them to face school with confidence.
At M.Y.T.E, we use simple tools to help kids and teens recognise and shift negative thinking patterns. Our 4-Step Toolkit helps children self-regulate when faced with fear, doubt, or worry. By learning to recognise anxious thoughts and replace them with more balanced ones, kids and teens can develop resilience and confidence. Find out more about MYTE’s approach here.
5. Use Relaxation and Grounding Techniques
When anxiety takes over, the nervous system goes into overdrive. Teaching kids simple relaxation techniques can help them regain control. Try:
- Deep breathing: Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four, and breathe out for six.
- Tapping (EFT): Emotional Freedom Technique tapping is a great way to calm anxiety quickly.
- Visualisation: Encourage them to picture a “safe place” in their mind when they feel overwhelmed.
6. Work with the School for Support
Teachers play a huge role in helping anxious students. If you’re a parent, communicate with your child’s school and ask about:
- A safe space for your child to go if they feel overwhelmed
- A check-in person (teacher, safe guarding lead, or support staff)
- Adjustments like extra time on tasks or a flexible start to the school day
For teachers, keeping an open line of communication with families and offering small accommodations can make a huge difference in a child’s ability to attend and engage in school.
Where to Find More Support
If school anxiety persists, additional support may be needed. These resources can provide further help:
- YoungMinds (www.youngminds.org.uk) – Offers advice for parents, teachers, and young people on mental health challenges.
- Mind (www.mind.org.uk) – Provides mental health support for children and adults.
- Anna Freud Centre (www.annafreud.org) – Offers school-based mental health resources.
- M.Y.T.E Printables (www.mytemission.com/printables)- Engaging activities for children aged 5-11 that help them process emotions and build self-awareness
You Are Not Alone
Whether you’re a parent struggling with daily battles or a teacher feeling the impact of rising absenteeism, know that you are not alone. School anxiety is a growing issue, but with the right support, children can learn to manage their worries, build confidence, and feel more at ease in the school environment.
If you’re looking for practical tools to help kids manage their thoughts, emotions, and fears, check out M.Y.T.E’s resources here. Together, we can help children feel more secure, resilient, and ready to take on the school day with confidence.