Have you ever sat beside a child who’s tangled in worry, and felt completely unsure of what to say? Maybe they’re crying, or quiet, or holding their tummy saying it hurts, and your heart aches because you know they’re anxious, but you’re lost for words. Here at M.Y.T.E, we hear this from parents, teachers, and carers all the time. Knowing how to explain anxiety to a child can feel like walking a tightrope… you want to be honest, but also soothing… simple, but not dismissive.
The good news? It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be kind. So, in todays blog we’ll explore how to explain anxiety to a child in a way that helps them feel safe, understood, and empowered — with phrases and approaches that can transform those tricky moments into meaningful connection.
What Is Anxiety (and Why It Feels So Big for Kids)
Anxiety is a natural human response. It’s our body’s way of protecting us when we sense something might go wrong. For children, who are still learning how to make sense of their feelings, anxiety can feel overwhelming, even scary.
Kids often experience anxiety around:
- School
- Being away from their caregiver
- Social situations
- Making mistakes
- Changes in routine
But they don’t always have the language to say “I’m feeling anxious.” It might come out as tummy aches, bedtime meltdowns, or not wanting to go to school. That’s why knowing how to explain anxiety to a child, in a way they understand, is so powerful. It helps them name what they’re feeling and begin to manage it.
Why These Conversations Matter
Every time you talk to a child about their feelings, especially something like anxiety, you’re teaching them something vital: that all emotions are okay. They’re not something to hide from or feel ashamed of.
Talking about anxiety helps children:
- Understand their emotions rather than being scared by them
- Feel less alone, knowing that others (even grown-ups!) feel this too
- Recognise that feelings don’t last forever, they come and go
- Trust that you’re a safe person to turn to when things feel hard
At M.Y.T.E, we believe these everyday conversations are like seeds. They may seem small, but over time they grow into self-awareness, resilience, and emotional strength.
When and How to Talk About Anxiety
Knowing how to explain anxiety to a child isn’t just about the words — it’s also about when and how we say them. Imagine trying to teach someone to swim while they’re already drowning. That’s how it can feel if we jump into a deep emotional conversation when a child is in the middle of a meltdown or panic. Timing and tone are everything.
Here are a few gentle ways to help open the conversation:
- Choose quiet, calm moments. Bedtime snuggles, car rides, or while drawing together — these are golden windows when children feel safe and open.
- Speak softly and slowly. Your calm energy helps signal to their nervous system: “It’s okay, you’re safe.”
- Lead with curiosity, not correction. Try asking, “What’s that feeling like?” instead of “Why are you acting like that?”
- Let silence be okay. Children often need time to find their words, your patience tells them you’re not in a rush.
- Validate what they’re feeling. Even if it seems small to us, it’s big to them. A simple “That sounds really hard” can be incredibly soothing.
By slowing down and tuning in, you make space for honesty, safety, and connection, the real heart of learning how to explain anxiety to a child in a way they’ll remember and trust.
13 Gentle Phrases That Help Explain Anxiety to a Child
Here’s where we bring it to life. These phrases are little bridges — ways to connect, comfort, and help your child begin to understand their feelings.
“It’s okay to feel nervous. Lots of people do.”
Normalises anxiety and removes shame.
“Your brain is trying to protect you, even when there’s no danger.”
Helps them understand the biology behind the feeling.
“Anxiety is like a wave — it rises and it falls.”
Reassures them that the feeling will pass.
“You are feeling anxious, but you are not anxiety.”
Separates their identity from the emotion.
“Let’s take a few slow breaths together.”
Supports emotional regulation through co-regulation.
“What does the worry feel like in your body?”
Helps build awareness and language around physical sensations.
“Can you draw your worry?”
A creative way to externalise and lessen its power.
“What would your worry say if it had a voice?”
Gives the anxiety form — and often a little humour or clarity.
“Let’s name the worry. What shall we call it?”
Turning it into ‘Wiggly Worry’ or ‘Freddy Fear’ makes it less scary.
“What helps you feel calm?”
Encourages them to notice and build their own toolkit.
“Let’s make a plan for the next time you feel this way.”
Builds confidence and predictability.
“You’re not alone. I’m right here with you.”
Reinforces connection and safety.
“You’re so brave for telling me how you feel.”
Always, always end with praise and love.
A Gentle Reminder for Grown-Ups
The words you use are important, but your presence means even more. If your child doesn’t respond right away, that’s okay… just keep showing up and remain their calm in the chaos.
Instead of rushing to say things like “You’ll be fine,” offer them your patience, your steady presence, and the space to feel whatever they’re feeling. And if you ever feel uncertain, know that’s completely normal. You’re human, you care deeply, and that alone is more than enough.
When More Help Is Needed
If anxiety starts interfering with your child’s sleep, eating, friendships, or daily life, it might be time to explore support from a child therapist. These professionals are trained to help kids process big feelings in safe, creative ways.
And for everyday support, that’s where we come in.
At M.Y.T.E, we’ve created tools and resources that help children (and their grown-ups) understand emotions, manage anxiety, and build inner calm, together. Our M.Y.T.E. Toolkit is full of gentle, evidence-based ways to talk about feelings and teach emotional resilience in ways that actually make sense to kids.
You can learn more on our website or explore the M.Y.T.E app — we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Final Thought
You don’t have to be perfect to help a child with anxiety. You just need to be present. You don’t need all the answers — just a willingness to listen, connect, and keep the door open.
So the next time worry shows up, try one of these gentle phrases. You might be surprised how powerful a few kind words can be.